Anger is an emotion. So is love. Either one, or both, can interfere with making sensible, reasonable decisions.
In the usual business situation, anger and irritation are much more of a problem than love. True, you might occasionally let someone you like get away with something you shouldn’t. Most bosses, however, are more apt to make wrong, unwise decisions in the heat of anger or resentment.
Keeping a leash in our emotions is something we must do for ourselves. No one else can do it for us.
Everybody gets exasperated once in a while. But if it happens frequently – or if you tend to nurse a grudge afterward – it isn’t good. You’ve got a problem. Better check up on yourself.
No matter where you work, there will always be people whose faults and personality defects can be annoying and irritating – if you let yourself be annoyed and irritated. But supervisors and managers who let their feelings get out of control in this manner hurt their effectiveness. They limit their usefulness to the company and you may even block their own advancement.
You can’t control other people sensibly until you first control yourself. That’s fundamental. So, whenever you start to get irritated, STOP! Grab hold of yourself. Don’t get mad. Get curious.
Remember, when people anger you, they aren’t necessarily doing it on purpose. To some extent, they may not be able to help acting the way they do. We are all products of our past experiences. If you had lived through what that person has lived through, you might be just as irritating.
So why let yourself get angry? The minute you get angry, you lose. The action you take is not going to be as smart or appropriate as it would be if you kept your cool.
Whenever you feel yourself getting angry, try to stop the exchange and postpone any discussion for the time being. When you’ve cooled down a bit, put yourself in that person’s shoes and see if you can figure out what makes him him or her tick. The more you realize why a person acts in a certain way, the less it will irritate you. It will make you a lot more tolerant, less touchy, and a lot more effective in dealing with people.