Anger Control

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Anger is an emotion. So is love. Either one, or both, can interfere with making sensible, reasonable decisions.

In the usual business situation, anger and irritation are much more of a problem than love. True, you might occasionally let someone you like get away with something you shouldn’t. Most bosses, however, are more apt to make wrong, unwise decisions in the heat of anger or resentment.

Keeping a leash in our emotions is something we must do for ourselves. No one else can do it for us.

Everybody gets exasperated once in a while. But if it happens frequently – or if you tend to nurse a grudge afterward – it isn’t good. You’ve got a problem. Better check up on yourself.

No matter where you work, there will always be people whose faults and personality defects can be annoying and irritating – if you let yourself be annoyed and irritated. But supervisors and managers who let their feelings get out of control in this manner hurt their effectiveness. They limit their usefulness to the company and you may even block their own advancement.

You can’t control other people sensibly until you first control yourself. That’s fundamental. So, whenever you start to get irritated, STOP! Grab hold of yourself. Don’t get mad. Get curious.

Remember, when people anger you, they aren’t necessarily doing it on purpose. To some extent, they may not be able to help acting the way they do. We are all products of our past experiences. If you had lived through what that person has lived through, you might be just as irritating.

So why let yourself get angry? The minute you get angry, you lose. The action you take is not going to be as smart or appropriate as it would be if you kept your cool.

Whenever you feel yourself getting angry, try to stop the exchange and postpone any discussion for the time being. When you’ve cooled down a bit, put yourself in that person’s shoes and see if you can figure out what makes him him or her tick. The more you realize why a person acts in a certain way, the less it will irritate you. It will make you a lot more tolerant, less touchy, and a lot more effective in dealing with people.

About Gintai_昇泰

I'm a Singaporean Chinese living in the Eastern part of Singapore. I tweet on current affairs & inspirational quotes. I blog on issues or events if they interest me. I also share interesting jokes, stories or anecdotes and observations on my blog. Thanks for visiting.
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13 Responses to Anger Control

  1. agongkia says:

    I had never been angry before in my life till this second and though very pitiful,I have always try to be a happy man.

    The only person in my life that intentionally want provoke me and cause anger to me so far is my friend Cheng Ah Hoo who always find fault with me and accuse me of something just to get some money from me and also because he think I am not with him.

    But still cannot cause me to be angry because being angry will only make me a loser.
    So paiseh,Gintai,sometime I use your blog to air some genuine grievances because it make me better.
    You should have use that Chinese poet here.Ren Chia Chee Wo,Wo bu Chee…..
    Dun be angry.

    • Agongkia,
      Maybe u don’t get angry cuz u know how to “air your grievances!” That’s gd. It keeps u sane. Cheng Hoo makes everyone angry of course. He tends to find fault cuz he wants your money. For every little minor things also find fault. So u pay him and all can be settled!
      What to do? This is life lah.
      Thks for sharing your thoughts.

      • agongkia says:

        Gintai,
        Was at your favourite EM food court 3 hours ago .After paying for my mee rebus ,I found a seat and left my remaining coins on the table .Left for another kopitiam for kopi after eating as no special target to attract me to stay longer.
        Upon arrival at 2nd kopitiam,realised that my coin is forgotten.Return after 15 minutes to the first kopitiam and heng ah…. the kopi soh found and left my 3.60 coins at the cashier.I used that money for a second round of breakfast at the 1st kopitiam as I am impressed by the staff’s honesty.
        Help me to convey my thanks to that management on this local kopi soh in purple if you have a chance,since you frequent there.Thanks.
        Praising and thanking others for a kind deed can make one a happier man and helps to reduce anger.

        • I think you referring to United Coffee. It’s the biggest there. That lady could be Helen. Will ask her. Thks.

          • agongkia says:

            Thks.I only know this kopitiam has a mix vegetable rice stall at the end.Went there an hour ago for dinner and ask for some towgay,hot dog(cut into pieces cooked with tomato syrup),a piece of fish of (6 X 4 X 2 cm).
            That talent from Malaysia ask for S$5.70.
            “May I know how much is the fish?”
            S$3 for fish,the rest is S$2.70.When I ask how much is that 4 pieces of cut hot dog,oops…its total S$5.20.
            See,No need to count to 10 and no need to be angry.2 questions asked can save another 50cents.
            I still think $5.20 for a simple meal is expensive to me.I believe they charge me extra to pay the foreign worker levy.Blaming myself poor instead can help to reduce anger.

          • Hey. U stay around EM. One day we meet up for coffee. U shld go to the smaller coffee shop behind near to the bicycle shop or toto outlet. Chicken rice is still only $2.50! U can hardly find such price. That coffee shop used to sell a bowl of mee at only $2. Recently, it’s increased to $2.50. Yes, everything including fines also increase but our pay still remain the same. Really langgar!

    • Anger against the weak is wrong
      It is futile against the strong.

      மு.வரதராசனார் உரை :

      பலிக்கும் இடத்தில் சினம் வராமல் காப்பவனே சினம் காப்பவன்; பலிக்காத இடத்தில் காத்தால் என்ன? காக்காவிட்டால் என்ன?

      This is from the famous Tamil poet named ‘Thiruvalluvar’. Every Tamilian must know him.

  2. patriot says:

    Anger is the work of Nature,
    part of emotion. So is pretension.
    Is there Science to rein it
    in? Doubt so.

    patriot

    • The Dharma could be the answer? I hope so.

      • patriot says:

        Dharma, Kharma, sad, happy, grief,
        joy, anger are the nature of beings
        which include greed, viciousness,
        craftiness and naughtiness.
        There is no need to culture all these
        traits that some believed are genetic
        and inherent.

        patriot

        • Let’s just say that the clash of state and religion has just begun. Whichever will prevail? We don’t know. It’s getting ugly and messy cuz the two just can’t mix. But now it’s heading towards a langgar course.
          Only the Dharma throughout the years of history advocate restrain, peace and non violence. It’s the key to understand human existence and impermanence. Seek it to find solace. Sigh ….

  3. SG Girl says:

    If I’m angered, I’ll count to ten (get cooled down and continue the discussion). If I’m angered further, I’ll count to thirty (again, get cooled down and continue the discussion). If I’m very very angry, I’ll walk off as I don’t have the patience to count anymore (and start plotting my revenge). :P

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